American Woman Seeks Help After Her Friendship With A Korean Man Becomes A Nightmare

An American citizen living in South Korea has turned to Reddit for legal advice to deal with a “friend” who is now blackmailing her.

teymur-gahramanov-3xjCbUzyJcU-unsplash — Unrelated photo for illustrative purposes | *Teymur Gahramanov/Unsplash*

In her post, Reddit user Luckloch explained how she became friends with a 33-year-old Korean man on her school’s campus while studying in South Korea. During her first year, the man offered to pay for things such as her food and clothing. He refused repayment.

I’m a U.S. citizen studying in South Korea and need advice about being blackmailed by someone I thought was a friend. During my first year, I befriended a 33-year-old Korean man on campus who helped me a lot and often voluntarily paid for food, clothes, and other items. I tried to politely refuse or offer to pay him back, but he insisted it was nothing and said things like, ‘it’s just a dime.’

— u/Luckloch

However, the man’s seemingly platonic acts of kindness escalated into inappropriate requests. He eventually slapped the Original Poster (OP) with a spreadsheet of his purchases for her and threatened to take legal action if she didn’t repay him.

hand — Unrelated photo for illustrative purposes | *Priscilla Du Preez/Unsplash*

Over time, his behavior became uncomfortable. He started making inappropriate comments (like asking me to hold his hand because he bought me something), so I distanced myself. After I got into a relationship, he sent me a detailed spreadsheet of everything he ever bought me—including food, clothing, and even medicine—and demanded repayment, threatening to take me to small claims court, call immigration, and contact my boyfriend.

— u/Luckloch

OP went on to explain that she had already repaid the money lent to her, and she refuses to give in to the man’s blackmail demands. This has resulted in the man’s ongoing threats and manipulation. “I’m afraid I don’t know what to do now,” OP wrote, seeking advice.

I’ve already repaid things like tuition (borrowed once and fully returned), but most items on his list were gifts I didn’t ask for that I can physically return. I AM NOT PAYING HIM ANY MORE. He’s also threatened me multiple times, apologized, and even admitted some things on his “list” were unreasonable. He continues to manipulate the situation, claiming I don’t have enough evidence to defend myself, insulting my relationship. Trying to add more to the “agreement” that was done under pressure, then taking it back and apologizing only to threaten me again. I’ve sent him money in the past (as a friend out of good graces) but now I worry he’s taking advantage of that to pressure me. I haven’t asked for these gifts in the first place. And it’s not like I blocked him or disappeared. I’m afraid I don’t know what to do now

— u/Luckloch

In addition to returning the gifts, OP is also considering legal action that will stop her ex-friend from harassing her, but she isn’t sure what her legal options are in Korea.

sean-lee-HwDYZ1yDPLE-unsplash — Unrelated photo for illustrative purposes | *Sean Lee/Unsplash*

I plan to document and return all the gifts he gave me (with photos and videos) with police there, but I’m also considering filing a restraining order and getting the police and university involved. he started going to the same gym as me. Has anyone dealt with something like this? What are my options legally or otherwise?

— u/Luckloch

Some commenters have advised OP to report the man for stalking, harassment, and blackmail as soon as possible without informing him beforehand.

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One user, who has noticed a “pattern” among foreign women while living in Korea, provided more detailed information to ensure that OP is prepared before speaking to the police.